Adjust to Being in a Stepfamily
The Family’s PSAs© Helps the Teen Adjust to Being in a Stepfamily
Carl is having a tough time adjusting to having a new stepmom. He likes her, he just doesn’t know what to do with her. Carl, his dad and his stepmom all get their PSAs©. Her PSA© shows him some things that he likes. He says, “She really gets what I am feeling (Tendency to Assess Feelings 90%) – she and I even have the exact same scores! And she makes me feel better when I hurt (Nurturance 95%). It is harder for her to make changes (Change 15%) than it is for dad and me (at 75% and 90%), so I’ll remember that and help her.”
Carl’s dad is an inventor, and Carl is, too. They care for creativity, not Order (1%). They thought that she was a real neatnik. Not so, actually she is at 45% in Order. They are not going to stop inventing to concentrate on cleaning up. She understands that now. They hired an Administrative Assistant (whose PSA© shows that she IS high in order. And they liked her other scores, too.) Doing that really helped them to organize their business and their home.
What personality strengths do you see here that can help Carl, his dad, and his stepmom adjust to being together?
Print out the test results for the Stepfamily so that you can look at the test results while you read about the Stepfamily on this website.
Open the test results for the Stepfamily
Carl misses his friends at his old school. It is so hard to start over and make new friends. He doesn’t know anyone. How does he start to meet people?
His stepmom Kala is high in Social Boldness (95%). She meets people so easily. What Carl doesn’t know is that she has already talked to a lot of moms. So he’s already got gals and guys that he hasn’t even met who will look for him at school and introduce him to their friends. Hey – thanks, stepmom!
Carl sees that dad is high (90%) in Autonomy and needs a lot of time alone – so his dad is not just ignoring him after all. Ok. He can still talk to his stepmom who is at 95% in Nurturance. Being with his new friends (Affiliation at 93%) helps him, too. Since neither dad nor stepmom are high in that, before they saw his PSA© scores, they thought he was just whining.
Each person in this family is high in Achievement and Activity Level (Their average is 85%). No wonder they set goals that none of them can reach. Then get upset because they didn’t reach them. They see this now. So, they begin cutting out activities – and take the pressure off. Carl is feeling better now.
Can we use our PSAs© to adjust to being in a stepfamily?
You already learned a lot about how a couple can use a PSA© by reading about Dad Bart, Carl, and Stepmom Kala. You know a lot about your current situation.
1. If you haven’t already done so: Print out Dad Bart’s, Carl’s, and Stepmom Kala’s PSAs©. You can print out this case study, too. Scan them and save them as a document in a folder named “Stepfamily: Carl, Bart, and Kala.” After you get your PSAs©: Use them to help you understand how to use your PSAs© in your life.
2. To order your PSA©: Go back to the Contact Us. When you take your tests: Think of yourself as you are when you are at your very best.
3. After you get your PSAs©: Use them to see how to use your PSAs© to use each person’s personality strengths to make your family relationships to be all that they can be.
4. The more you think together about your strengths the more you will see how to make them work together…and you get to see how they build together for all of your life.
You can do this!
This website and is expert advice about how to use your PSA©. For more expert advice you can take your PSAs© to a counselor in your city.
Or you and Dr. Knolle can use your PSA© and Worksheet and strategize together in her office in Houston or Galveston, Texas or on the phone. Email her through our Contact Us page to set this up.